


show me the places (where others gave you scars)

by breathingwithyoureyesclosed



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Eventual Smut, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:29:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingwithyoureyesclosed/pseuds/breathingwithyoureyesclosed
Summary: When Dani's father died her life seemed to come to a halt, until her mother sent her to Bly Manor Boarding school in England, and Dani was forced to face everything she had been burying down when she met another student, Jamie.or the boarding school au where Dani and Jamie fall for each other slowly but all at once.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	show me the places (where others gave you scars)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I haven't written anything in nearly two years, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so here we are. Rated this M for later chapters cause I know I will forget to change it, but this chapter is not M.
> 
> I am going to do my best to update every Sunday (yes today is Saturday but I'm excited so shh) so please hold me to that.
> 
> title from Taylor Swift's Willow, chapter name is from Taylor Swift's Exile (yes all my chapter titles will be Taylor lyrics, your point?).
> 
> enjoy x

Dani’s life had always been plain, boring to put it bluntly. The perfect American family with her childhood best friend, now her boyfriend, determined to walk her down the aisle and into the rest of her pre-planned perfect life (something that made Dani’s stomach clench, but not in the way it was supposed to). She was a cheerleader at her high school, she had a circle of amazing friends and a 4.0 GPA. She couldn’t have asked for more.

But something didn’t feel right.

Dani kept telling herself she’d unpack that. She’d figure out why when her mother smiled it didn’t quite reach her eyes, why when Eddie kissed her she didn’t feel the butterflies she was supposed to, why when she thought about her future she felt her shoulder drop and her stomach sink. She’d figure it all out, one day.

However, time kept passing and Dani’s one day never seemed to come. She found excuse after excuse in her own mind to continue her appearingly perfect life, feeling nothing but having everything according to everyone. It was easier this way. She didn’t fight with Eddie this way; she didn’t hurt him. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She loved him. At least that’s what she told herself as he slept peacefully next to her, her mind running a mile a minute.

She loved him. She didn’t want to hurt him. One day she’d unpack what it was that she was hiding that would hurt him. One day.

And one day she came close, sitting at the dining room table with her mother and boyfriend, waiting for her father to come home from work. Edmund and Karen discussed Dani’s future whilst the blonde simply sat and listened. She felt the anger rising in her chest as she watched decisions being made for her. Her wedding, university, career, kids. Things that Dani wanted, it wasn’t that she didn’t, she just wanted a say in when and how these things came about in her life.

As they continued to talk, their words wrapping around Dani’s chest until she felt like she couldn’t breathe, Dani could feel those words on the tip of her tongue. Words that would hurt Eddie, break her mother and make her life plans shatter, words she hadn’t even said to herself yet, but before she could the phone rang.

Dani doesn’t remember how the rest of that day played out, she’d pushed the memory and those dangerous words that nearly slipped from her mouth down deep into her subconscious. All Dani knows is her dad didn’t come home and with him went every chance of her life changing from the destination that was set on her behalf.

A few months past and Dani watched her mother drink herself away, the light that was already flickering in her eyes gone, replaced with a darkness that sent a shiver down Dani’s spine. She watched as Eddie tried to fix her, but he didn’t know how. But he tried, he was there through it all, that’s what counts. That’s what Dani told herself. She couldn’t leave him, not after he had stayed.

The thought spiralled round Dani’s mind. She couldn’t leave him. She couldn’t leave.

The more the thought clung in her mind the more Dani felt herself drifting away from her life. She felt her presence pulling back, as though she were watching her own life from afar. She didn’t feel the smile plastered on her face at high school, she didn’t feel the kiss Eddie planted on her cheek and she didn’t hear the words her mum said to her when she walked in the door.

Dani’s grades had dropped, her attendance getting lower as each day passed. She didn’t go to cheerleading anymore, her friends stopped reaching out one by one, not that Dani cared. Dani simply felt nothing, her emotions not knowing what to do anymore.

Maybe if Dani had been more than a ghost haunting her own body as it lived her life, she would have seen the letters from the boarding schools. Maybe she would have heard her mother’s talk of leaving, of Dani leaving, she wouldn’t be surprised when her mother sat her down to talk.

Maybe Dani had heard her and blamed the alcohol for talking. Either way, Dani didn’t feel the shock as her mother told her she’d gotten Dani a scholarship for a boarding school in England. Dani didn’t react as Edmund fell to his knees and cried. She felt her hand move to the back of his head, comforting him, it was a reflex more than anything. Dani felt as he tightened himself around her legs and sob, but she didn’t shed a tear.

He helped her pack, promised to write her letters every week, that he would get a part time job so he could afford to visit her. She heard him arguing with her mother, but she knew Karen was too far gone, grief running the body that used to belong to the woman who raised her.

Edmund drove her to the airport, her mother in the back seat without an emotion on her face. Dani had thought maybe her nerves would kick in, that she’d tremble on her way to the airport, that she’d cry as she said goodbye to the man who called her the love of his life. She thought she would panic, beg not to go, but Dani didn’t put up a fight. She walked on to the plane and didn’t look back, taking her seat and letting go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

And then she felt it.

Dani felt the air flowing into her lungs, her chest opening as if she hadn’t inhaled in months. And maybe she hadn’t. Dani felt a small smile trace her lips as the plane entered the runway.

She could feel the pressure of her life slipping off her shoulders. The pressure of being Edmunds perfect bride to be, her mother’s perfect daughter who held herself together whilst her perfect life turned into a living nightmare. But nightmare or daydream, Dani’s life had never felt like her own, and as the plane took off into light blue sky, she felt some control seeping into her veins.

Maybe this was what she needed. A fresh start, a life without the pressure of being someone she’s not. Maybe her one day was coming a hell of a lot sooner than Dani had thought it would. The thought made Dani’s stomach turn and her heart leap in her chest, but the feeling didn’t scare Dani, not anymore.

***

Dani hadn’t been sure what to expect, ignoring the letters from the school that her mother had put by her bed back at home, but this was something straight out of a movie.

A driver had picked Dani up from the airport, a sign with her name written out across it, and had led her to what Dani thought was the most stereotypical British car she’d ever seen.

She wasn’t sure how long they’d been driving now, but as Dani watched out the window time had ceased to exist. It was early September, the tree leaves threatening to turn from ember to brown, to dry out and disappear. The roads glistening from the rain that had fallen from the sky, the drops still running down the window Dani gazed out of. The houses and shops became less and less frequent as they drove, the trees getting closer together and the roads getting thinner.

At first glance, Dani would have mistaken the entrance to the boarding school as a gate for a mansion. The tall iron gate closed, grey stone statues of lions either side of the bars that locked people out, or the students in, Dani wasn’t sure which. But then the driver stopped, getting out the car and pressing a button next to the gate that Dani would have missed if she didn’t know what she was looking for. The driver then mumbled something incoherent and then he was back in his seat, the gates slowly opening before them.

It was at that moment the nerves kicked in.

The next minute felt like an hour, driving up the seemingly never-ending pathway that led to the school, Dani’s legs bouncing gently in anticipation.

“Oh shit” the words fell out of Dani’s mouth as whisper before she could process them.

The building in front of her didn’t look real to Dani. It looked as though it was taken straight from a movie, the ivy climbing the dark grey stone walls as though it was what they were built for. The windows were small, bars across them and the sight sent a shiver travel through Dani.

This was the first time she questioned where her mother had sent her. Dani didn’t want to be at home and the last twelve hours had more than proved that to her, but right now, stepping out of the car, Dani was starting to question if she’d made the right choice.

“Miss Clayton is it?” A woman’s voice came out of nowhere, Dani spinning on her heels to see an older woman stood before her. She was slightly taller than Dani, her head shaved and her jewellery grand. She looked beautifully put together, her posture perfect and her words articulated as she spoke.

“Yes, hello, that’s me.” Dani said, her voice slightly higher than her natural pitch. She took the hand being offered by the other woman, shaking it lighting.

“Welcome to Bly Manor Boarding School for girls. We are very pleased to have you here,” The woman began, the driver unpacking Dani’s bags from the trunk of his car, “I’m Miss Grose, Hannah Grose, the matron for the boarding house.”

“I’m sorry, matron?” Dani questioned, earning a small smile from Hannah.

“It’s a British term darling, it just means I am in charge of the health and well-being of the girls staying with us.”

“Got it.” Dani said, ignoring the embarrassment she felt. She was sure that was on one of the letters that she had glanced at before she left. Dani made a mental note to look over them once she was alone to avoid anymore British terms being thrown at her, or worse something she should definitely already know but doesn’t.

“Have you ever been to England before?” Hannah asked, turning to walk towards the entrance of the school.

“No, I haven’t” Dani said, throwing her rucksack on her shoulder before she followed Hannah.

“In which case, welcome to England Danielle.”

“It’s just Dani.” Dani said sweetly, ignoring the memories of her father calling her Danielle rising in her mind. No one called her Danielle but him, she never liked the name, but it felt right coming from her dad. Over the last few months her mother had taken to calling Dani by her full name and it had only made her daughter step further away.

“Dani.” Hannah repeated before flashing a quick smile back at the blonde, “I must say that does suit you better than Danielle.”

Dani felt herself relax.

Hannah led Dani through the halls, pointing out anything of importance. After a few turns down what looked like identical hallways, Dani knew there was not a chance she wasn’t getting lost.

“And just through these doors is Willoughby House, which is your house now.” Hannah said as she pushed the door open and held it for Dani.

Hannah explained how there were two boarding houses on the grounds, Willoughby and Wingrave. The Willoughby’s used to live on the grounds before the manor was converted to a school, and the Wingarve’s were the ones who converted it to a school. The current headmaster, Henry, was the fifth Wingrave to run the school according to Hannah. Dani wondered if Henry had wanted this or if his last name had ended with him here.

“This is your room, and I believe Rebecca is here as well.” Hannah said as she knocked on the door. Before Dani had time to question who Rebecca was, there was an answer from behind the door and Hannah was walking into the room.

“Rebecca, this is Dani, your roommate for this year.” _roommate_ , Dani thought, she really should have read over those letters.

“Hey.” Rebecca said with a sweet smile, her eyes sparkling as her hand extended out towards Dani, “I’m so excited to be sharing a room with you this year. Everyone can’t wait to meet you.”

“Everyone?” Dani said slowly, accepting Rebecca’s hand and shaking it.

“Yeah, word of the new American girl flew down the corridors pretty quickly.” Rebecca said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’ll quickly learn that nothing stays a secret for long around here.” Hannah said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Anyway girls, I’ll let you two settle in. I’m sure Rebecca will show you around once you’re done.”

“Will do Miss Grose.” Rebecca replied as Hannah left the room, the door clicking shut behind her.

The two girls stood in silence for a moment before Rebecca took a deep breath, standing up from what Dani assumed was the bed that she had taken.

“Is that all your bags?” Rebecca asked, eyeing up the one rucksack on Dani’s back and the suitcase behind her. Dani nodded her head in response. “Not a lot of stuff considering you moved from a different country.”

“Didn’t have a lot of stuff I needed to bring.” Dani said, hiding the flatness that wanted to accompany her voice. Too many bad memories were attached to what Dani owned, so she only packed the essentials. Her clothes and a couple of keepsakes being the majority of what filled her bags.

“Well, I’ve unpacked onto this side of the room,” Rebecca said as she gestured to the left side of the room. The single bed made with a grey quilt, the single shelf above the desk lined with a few books that Dani recognised the name of. The desk itself was bare, not much decoration on her roommates’ side of the room. Dani wondered if she wasn’t the only one who was trying to leave things behind. “so, if you’re good with it, this would be your side.”

“Yeah, that’s good with me.” Dani said as she smiled sweetly, placing her bags down on the bed.

“I’m just going see if Sarah is in her room.” Rebecca said as she made her way to the door, “I won’t be long, just shout down the corridor if you need anything.”

Rebecca left, shutting the door behind her and Dani felt herself relax a little, taking in the room around her. The layout was identical on both sides of her, the room simply mirrored down the middle, a single window on the far wall. Dani found herself staring out of the window, watching the light grey clouds drifting in the sky. The long grounds that stretched beyond the window made Dani feel at ease, she felt more at home than she had in months, maybe ever.

Dani unpacked her things, making her bed and putting her clothes into the draws next to her desk. The room felt bare, missing all the trophies from high school that scattered her room back home. It was missing the gifts that Edmund had given her over the years that had faded to the background of Dani’s thoughts. But even without all this, Dani still felt at ease.

Just as Dani folded her last T-shirt into the draw, Rebecca came crashing back into their room, a huge smile on her face.

“You ready for a world class tour of Bly Manor Boarding School?” Rebecca asked, her voice laced with a glee that wasn’t there before. Dani noticed another girl stood behind Rebecca, who Dani assumed was the Sarah that her roommate had mentioned before she left. It dawned to Dani in that moment that she knew nobody, which seemed bleedingly obvious, but the thought had not crossed the blonde’s mind. Everyone here had their friends; they had their place in the school and Dani didn’t.

Dani felt a feeling of panic settle in her stomach for the first time since she stepped off the plane. She wasn’t used to feeling out of place, but Dani realised that this was going to be a pretty constant feeling over the next few weeks.

“Lead the way” Dani said, curling her lips into what she hoped was a convincing smile.

Rebecca showed Dani around the school, introducing her to a few of the other students on the way. Dani laughed as they asked about America, listing stereotypes that weren’t entirely true. Dani couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed. After Rebecca was done dragging Dani down the never-ending corridors that led to classrooms that all looked the same, they made it to the dining hall. The room was huge, wooden tables running down the centre with dark wooden benches either side. The ceiling was high, chandeliers hanging down above them.

“This is where we get out meals, did Miss Grose explain about what time we eat and when we have Chapel?” Rebecca asked as they wandered out of the other side of the dining hall, Dani following behind her.

“She didn’t no.” Dani said after a moment, her brain needing a second to take everything in.

“Okay that’s fine, I’ll explain it all after lights out tonight.” Rebecca said, stopping and turning on her heels to face Dani.

‘Lights out?” Dani asked, her eyebrows slightly raised, and Rebecca chuckled to herself before answering.

“It’s when Miss Grose comes round, and we have to go to bed.” 

“Oh, okay.” Dani was not used to having someone tell her when it was time to sleep. Her mind often kept her up into the early hours, but hopefully the jetlag would help her fall asleep tonight.

“Well, I’m going to head over to the library, told a few of the girls I’d meet them there. Do you want to come with?” Rebecca asked and Dani could tell that the brunette was not asking her out of pity. She seemed sweet and Dani was sure she would end up spending most of her time with the girl before her. But right now, Dani needed a moment to wrap her head around everything. She needed some space because she wasn’t sure when she was next going to get any.

“I think I’m just going to walk around for a bit, try and learn where everything is so I don’t end up getting lost.” Dani said, glad that Rebecca didn’t look offended that she had declined her offer to join her and her friends.

“That’s probably a good idea, I’ll see you back in our room later Dani!” and with that, Rebecca left Dani on her own.

Dani found herself walking without a purpose, her thoughts not racing as they usually did, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. She felt the eyes of every student she passed but she knew that would stop with time. She walked until she felt as though she had walked the same corridor five times, and Dani suddenly wondered if this was her best idea, getting lost in the school on day one was not her best move.

Dani found herself opening a door at the end of the hallway that led to outside, stepping out into the cool September air which sent goosebumps up the blonde’s pale skin. For a moment Dani just stood, still, breathing in the fresh air and letting herself relax.

“You look lost.” The voice startled Dani, the blonde jumping slightly as her hand came to her chest. She turned to see the person behind the voice and Dani found herself at a loss for words.

She had brown curls that shaped her face perfectly, her jawline sharp and her smile bright. Dani noted that the smile before her was more a smirk than a smile and it made a small blush rise to her cheeks and she stared into eyes that were hiding something, something Dani wanted to know.

“Is it that obvious?” Dani replied after an abnormally long pause, her mind too busy taking in the figure before her to reply. The brunette was wearing a dark oversized t-shirt which was tucked into deep blue baggy jeans. The outfit was nothing special but it looked as though it had been made for her, Dani thought to herself.

“Ah, I see the American has arrived.” The woman leaned back against the wall as she spoke, her eyes trailing down Dani’s body. The blonde ignored the shiver that it sent down her spine. “Did they just leave you out here to fend for yourself or you already trying to find a way out of this shit hole?”

“I am definitely not trying to escape from here, even if it is a shit hole, I can assure you it is better than home.” Dani said, finding herself a little shocked that those words had left her mouth without hesitation. She never spoke to anyone about life at home, how bad it had gotten.

“So, not a fan of America either then.” The woman said after a moment, reading that the topic of home was maybe not the best to dive into. The brunette then took a puff of a cigarette that Dani had only just noticed, explain why the other woman was out here.

The two of them stood in silence for a moment, looking at one another until Dani let her eyes fall to the ground. Even though Dani wasn’t looking at the brunette she could feel eyes burning into her skin, and Dani didn’t mind the burn.

“Well, I best be off, don’t want Miss Grose catching me like this.” The brunette said gesturing to the cigarette in her hand as she kicked herself off the wall and put the cigarette out under her boot, “It was nice to meet you…” The brunette paused, waiting for the blonde to fill in her name but Dani was lost in her thoughts. “This is usually the part where you say your name.”  
  


“Sorry, it’s Dani.” The blonde felt her cheeks go a deep shade of red. Nobody made her blush, not anymore.

“Well, Dani, I’ll see you around.” The brunette said as she opened the door to go back into the school, but Dani stopped her before she disappeared.

“Wait, what’s your name?” Dani asked, enjoying the small smile that spread on the other woman’s face.

“Jamie.” Jamie said, her voice quieter than before, not laced in the charm that made Dani’s face flush.

“Nice to meet you Jamie.” Dani replied, her voice almost a whisper, but Jamie heard her.

“You too Dani.” And with that, Jamie was gone.

Dani stood outside for a while after Jamie had left before heading back into the school, finding her way back to her room. When she opened the door Rebecca was sat on her bed, reading a book which she shut as Dani came inside.

The rest of the night was spent with Rebecca telling Dani about the school, about the teachers and which ones to avoid at all costs. She told Dani about her friends and her crush on the English teacher and Dani listened politely, doing her best to ignore the way her thoughts kept wandering to her conversation with Jamie. How a two-minute conversation had made her feel more than three months of her life back home had. Dani didn’t know what to do with this, so she pushed it aside, she listened to Rebecca until Miss Grose came and said goodnight to them. Then Rebecca rolled over and went to sleep, leaving Dani to her thoughts.

Dani found her mind drifting back to home as she fell asleep. She realised she hadn’t thought about Eddie since she left the airport. She should have been thinking about him, missing him, but she didn’t.

Dani once again pushed the thought aside for another day. Little did Dani know, that day was coming a hell of a lot sooner than she thought it was.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was mostly introductory but hopefully you enjoyed it!! please leave a comment if you did, they mean the world to me and help keep me writing. Next chapter will have more Jamie and Dani interactions, I promise.
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you next Sunday x


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